Month: November 2018

Instructions to Children and Their Fathers

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Photo by Michelle Pearson

Instructions to Children and Their Fathers

Ephesians 6:1-4

 

My father was a hard man. He was always a Marine at heart, even though he only served a couple of years in the reserves. He was demanding, loud, overbearing, and was never wrong. My dad loved to argue more than anyone I ever knew. For most of my life, including my adult years, I did not honor my father. I feared him as a child, hated him as an adolescent, and was apathetic toward him as an adult. Then one day I got the news that dad had brain cancer and only had one year to live, he was only 63 years old. I took my family down to see dad several times that year, even though we lived about a thousand miles away. During that last year of his life, I got a chance to get to know my dad. Sad to say, it took the brain tumor’s help, it softened his personality quite a bit. I got to hear about some of the struggles of his youth and some of the events that shaped his personality. In fact, it seemed that his lack of respect for his parents was partly what fueled his personality.

The Bible has a lot to say about relationships. It talks about the relationship between a husband and wife, as we saw last week, it talks about relationships between servants and masters, God and His Church, and many others. Today we are going to look at this relationship between children and their parents, as well as fathers and their children.

Paul starts Ephesians chapter 6 by saying in verse 1, “Children, obey your parents because you belong to the Lord, for this is the right thing to do.” We often focus on the next verse, but let’s take a minute to look at this one. Why should children obey their parents? Because they belong to Jesus, and it’s just the right thing to do! When you truly belong to Jesus, you will want to do what is right. As Bob Jones Sr. used to say, “Do right until the stars fall.”

After telling us that it’s just the right thing to do, he reminds us that it was the first commandment given with a promise attached. And, he rewrites that promise in verse 3, “If you honor your father and mother, ‘things will go well for you, and you will have a long life on the earth.’” So, God told us from the beginning that, if we honor our parents, we’ll have a good, long life.

Take a minute to look at the 10 Commandments. Honor your father and mother is the fourth commandment. The first three commandments are all about honoring God, then honor your parents comes before don’t kill, don’t commit adultery, don’t steal, don’t bear false witness, don’t covet your neighbor’s wife, and don’t covet your neighbor’s stuff. Here’s the thing, if we honor God, and honor the parents He put over us, all these other things will fall into place.

In my day job, I employ several young people. Let me start out by saying that Millennials often get a bad rap and I’m just as guilty as anyone else in this, although many of them have earned that reputation. As a whole, they can be very demanding and quite self-centered and disrespectful, but I have to say that this doesn’t apply to all of them. I have a couple of teenage sisters who work for me and are a delight. They are extremely well mannered and very respectful to authority, and elders in general. So, what makes these two young ladies so pleasant, well in my observation I can only see one difference between them and the rest of the young people, their dad was career military, so I’m sure they were raised with some discipline.

Here’s the thing. Many people my age and a little younger were raised by parents who followed the advice of Dr. Spock and others who said that you shouldn’t spank your child, you should reason with them. These kids who were reasoned with by their parents have grown up to reason with their kids, and their kids have become entitled, demanding self-centered brats. These kids don’t honor their parents, they look at them as their friends, their equals, not their authority.

Now, look at verse 4, “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.” Notice it doesn’t say for kids to honor their father unless he provokes you to anger, this is a separate thing. I justified my attitude toward my dad for many years by this verse. I said that I didn’t have to honor him because he provoked me to anger, but that is not at all what this is saying, I was taking it out of context to justify what I wanted to do…sound familiar? Paul has told us to honor our parents, now he is warning fathers not to provoke his kids to anger, then he goes on to say to bring them up in Godly discipline and instruction. Disciplining and instructing are not provoking your kids, it’s teaching them to do right. The Bible never says, “Spare the rod, spoil the child,” it says, “Those who spare the rod of discipline hate their children. Those who love their children care enough to discipline them.” Proverbs 13:24. If you love your child, you will discipline them. If your toddler is trying to stick a fork into an electrical outlet, you will smack their hand, so they know not to do that.

Going back to my father, had I done the biblical thing and just honored him throughout my life I would have had a different view of him, and that could have changed his personality. My dad died at 64 years of age when I was only 39 and my boys were 12 and 16. Fortunately, my sons’ relationship with their grandfather was somewhat better. He would play pool with them and he taught them to shoot and use gun safety in his backyard shooting range. But, think how much better my life, as well as the lives of my kids,  could have been if I had just honored my dad.

Honor is not conditional. We are to honor our parents no matter what they do or how they treat us. If you are a Christian father, don’t provoke your kids, just lovingly discipline and instruct them in the ways of the Lord.

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Be Thankful & Trust the Plan

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Photo by Michelle Pearson

Give Thanks & Trust the Plan

Since tomorrow is Thanksgiving, I wanted to interrupt our study of Ephesians to talk about giving thanks. Here’s the thing, Thanksgiving is not turkey day. It’s not about the huge Thanksgiving dinner, even though I love a good Thanksgiving dinner…or any dinner for that matter. It’s not about the football, or the gathering of the family, or even the pilgrims. You see, none of these things are bad, I love food, and family time, and even football, not so much in the last couple of years, but Thanksgiving is a day that our government set aside to give thanks to God for what He has done for us. That’s right our government set aside a day to give thanks to God, so don’t let anyone tell you that this country was not created as a Christian Nation. In fact, just a side note…no charge, the first joint session of the U.S. government consisted of a five-minute speech by George Washington at the Federalist Hall in New York City, followed by all of them walking two blocks to the St. Paul’s Chapel where they prayed for their new country for the remainder of the night. Also, did you know that the first Bibles printed in this country, were printed by Congress to be used in our public schools? Just a little food for thought.

So, what does the Bible say about giving thanks? First, 1 Thessalonians 5:18 says, “Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.” Did you see that? It says to give thanks in all circumstances. So often we let our circumstances dictate our attitude, but God tells us to give thanks, no matter what is going on around you. Okay, how is this possible? How can we be thankful in every circumstance? Look at Hebrews 12:26-28, “26 When God spoke from Mount Sinai his voice shook the earth, but now he makes another promise: “Once again I will shake not only the earth but the heavens also.” 27 This means that all of creation will be shaken and removed so that only unshakable things will remain. 28 Since we are receiving a Kingdom that is unshakable, let us be thankful and please God by worshiping him with holy fear and awe. 29 For our, God is a devouring fire.” See what it says? “Since we are receiving a Kingdom that is unshakable”. No matter what happens on this earth, our Kingdom is unshakable! We can always be thankful because we abide in an unshakeable Kingdom. There’s an old song called, His Word Will Stand, and the lyrics say:

His Word will stand
His Word will stand
Though stars should fall
And mountains turn to sand
Though no man believes Him
Still, God will be true
His promise is sure
His love will endure
And forever His Word will stand.

God’s word will stand…always, even if no one believes it, He is unshakable, and His Kingdom is unshakable. This verse goes on to say that, since we have this unshakable Kingdom, we must be thankful and please God by worshiping Him with holy fear and awe. We throw around the word awesome a lot, but only God is truly awesome…only God is worthy of our awe. So, when we worship God and give thanks, we please Him, and that should be our ultimate goal in life. Let’s face it, pleasing God is why we are here, that’s why He created us.

Colossians 3:15 tells us, “And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful.” This passage is telling us how to live a new life in Christ. It tells us that, as different parts of one body…there’s that unity thing again, we must live in peace, and always give thanks…ALWAYS! The next few verses go on to tell us to let Christ’s message fill our lives. What is the message of Christ? The gospel, the good news. Notice it doesn’t say to read about the message of Christ, or to listen to a pastor preach about the message of Christ, it says we must let it fill our liver, verse 16, “Let the message about Christ, in all its richness, fill your lives. Teach and counsel each other with all the wisdom he gives. Sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs to God with thankful hearts.” This verse goes on to say that we need to teach and counsel each other, as one body, and sing praises to God with thankful hearts. Then he ends this thought with verse 17 which says, “And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father.” So, if you are a follower of Christ, you are an ambassador, whether you know it or not. You represent your Lord to this world, so give thanks!

We can’t allow the things going on around us to dictate our feelings. Remember, no matter what is going on, God has a plan. Jeremiah 29:11 says, “’For I know the plans I have for you,’ says the Lord. ‘They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.’” Most of us know this verse, but have you ever read on? Look at the next 2 verses. Jeremiah 29:12-13 say, “12 In those days when you pray, I will listen. 13 If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me.” Don’t just trust in His plan but seek him wholeheartedly! What does Matthew 7:7-8 say? “7 Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. 8 For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened.”

Yes, be thankful because God’s got this, but what good is God’s plan if we don’t know what it is? God is not going to force you to do His plan, He wants us to seek after Him and keep on seeking. He wants you to desire to know His plan for your life more than anything. So, to live a happy life, be thankful and seek God’s plan!

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Submit To One Another

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Photo by Michelle Pearson

Submit To One Another

Ephesians 5:21-33

This is the problem with doing an expositional study, you can’t pick your topics…that means you even have to do the ones you don’t want to. Because of that, I’m going to cover a lot more ground in one blog than I usually do. Normally I only take 3 or 4 verses at a time, but if I did that today, this blog would have been called, “Wives Need to Submit to Their Husbands”. Somehow, I don’t think that would have gone over so well in today’s society, and if we look at it in context that’s, not what it is saying here. So, let’s do that, let’s take it in context but please read the entire blog before you make any judgment.

In order to look at it in context, we need to go back to the beginning…literally, the beginning! Look at Genesis 2:18 where God said, “Then the Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.’” The KJV uses the word “help meet” here. The Hebrew word used in this verse is the word, `ezer {ay’-zer} which means help, succor, and succor means, “A person or thing that gives help, relief, aid, etc.” So, although we have all heard it from some pastors, the truth is that the wife was not created to be the husband’s servant. She was created to be his helper, to aid him in leading. Now, I feel like I need to stress that men were created to be the leaders, but not at the expense of the woman, even if you are just looking at it physiologically. My degree is in biology, specifically human anatomy, and physiology, and the male body and emotions were created to handle the physical and emotional strains of leading. But we’ll go into that more a little later.

Now, let’s get back to our passage. Paul starts out by saying, “And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” In Ephesians 5:21. You see, a lot of “those pastors” like to leave this verse out and skip right to verse 22 that says, “For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord.” But, the fact is that he begins by saying we all need to submit to each other, husbands to wives and wives to husbands. He goes on in verses 23 through 24 to remind us that God did place the husband as the head of the home just as Christ is the head of the Church. I have heard many Christians try to say that this doesn’t apply to us anymore, but the truth is, there is no scripture to back that up. Some try to say that it’s because we are no longer under the curse but there are a few holes in that thinking. First, although the man being the head of the home was part of the curse of Adam, it was also set up that way from creation. Second, the Bible never says we are no longer under the curse of Adam, it says we are no longer under the curse of the law…two totally different curses. Look at Galatians 3:13, “But Christ has rescued us from the curse pronounced by the law. When he was hung on the cross, he took upon himself the curse for our wrongdoing. For it is written in the Scriptures, ‘Cursed is everyone who is hung on a tree.’” And, thirdly, if this didn’t pertain to us today, then why would Paul have written it to the New Testament Church? I know I sound like a broken record, but we need to stop trying to interpret the Bible, so it matches what we want to hear. We need to take it literally, in context, and as a whole.

These two verses also go back to the fact that the husband and wife are one body, as God said back in Genesis 2:24, “For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.” Because, in verses 23 and 24, when he tells us that the husband is head of the wife just like Christ is the head of the Church he is saying that, just like Christ is the head and the Church is the body, so, the husband is the head and the wife is the body…we are one flesh.

The next section, verses 25 through 30 are all addressing the man, that’s right, 3 verses for the women and 6 verses for the men, we need twice as much direction. Paul reminds us men to love our wives the way Christ loves the Church, “just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her 26 to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word.” Notice it doesn’t say just that Christ died for the Church, it says that He gave Himself for her. You see, Christ didn’t just die for us, He gave everything for us. He left the splendor of Heaven and came to live as a pauper here on this broken earth for us. Yes, we should be willing to die for our wives, but we should be willing to do much more than that. With Christ as our example, we must live for and love our wives as He did the Church. And, why should we do this? To make our wives holy, that means set apart, and clean, and washed by God’s word…to lift up our wives, not to put them down.

As if that wasn’t enough, and knowing how self-centered we men can be, he hits us again. In verse 28 he says, “In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself.” That’s right love your wife as much as you love yourself…ouch! And then he ends the section to the men by reminding us that we are all part of the Body of Christ.

Now, I would like to go back to verse 21 which says we need to submit to each other. Because, next it says in verse 22, “For wives, this means…” and in verse 25 he says, “For husbands, this means…” So, do you see what it is saying? Submit to each other! For women, it means you need to let your husband lead by God’s authority. And, for men, this means you need to love your wives.

So, why do you think Paul focused on these two things? As I mentioned earlier, part of the curse of Adam was “Then he said to the woman, ‘I will sharpen the pain of your pregnancy, and in pain, you will give birth. And you will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you.’” Genesis 3:16. By nature, women want to take control, but that isn’t how God intended it. Again, that doesn’t mean that men control everything, and women have no say in it. Women were given to us as our help meet. They are there to aid us in leading, but we men have to answer to God for how we lead our families. And, as for men, we don’t love naturally…not like women do. Most women love naturally, it’s like a second nature. You know, that motherly, nurturing instinct, but we men are pretty self-centered. We think that providing for the family is enough, but it isn’t. We need to step back and take a hard look at how we love our wives.

So, to sum it up, submit to each other, follow God’s plan, and love! It doesn’t get much easier than that, right?

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Don’t Live Like Fools

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Photo by Michelle Pearson

Don’t Live Like Fools

Ephesians 5:15-20

If you grew up in church, especially if you are around my age, you probably grew up singing a song in Sunday School that says, “Oh be careful little eyes what you see,” “be careful little mouth what you say,” and “be careful little feet where you go, because the Father up above is looking down in love.” Sometimes I think we need to go back to those children songs, their so simple and yet so profound.

Our passage today sums this all up. In Ephesians 5:15 Paul says, “So be careful how you live. Don’t live like fools, but like those who are wise.” Just be careful how you live, it’s that simple…Right? He says that we shouldn’t live like fools, instead we should live like the wise. Okay, the first question is, how do we get wisdom? James 1:5 tells us, “If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking.” We quote this verse quite a bit, but sometimes we forget to go on from there. Verses 6-8 say, “6 But when you ask him, be sure that your faith is in God alone. Do not waver, for a person with divided loyalty is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is blown and tossed by the wind. 7 Such people should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. 8 Their loyalty is divided between God and the world, and they are unstable in everything they do.” So, yes, ask God, but you must have complete faith and trust in God alone. That means, don’t look for wisdom in Confucius, Plato, or Socrates, and don’t trust your own wisdom. We must remember that true wisdom only comes from God. We may ask God for wisdom, then wonder why He hasn’t given it to us. It’s because we keep trusting in our own wisdom or that of other humans, our loyalty is divided.

So, what are the attributes of true wisdom? James 3:17 tells us, “17 But the wisdom from above is first of all pure. It is also peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others. It is full of mercy and the fruit of good deeds. It shows no favoritism and is always sincere.” God’s wisdom is Pure, Peace Loving, Gentle at all times, and always willing to yield to others, in other words, it’s not proud. If your wisdom can’t be described as all these things, it is not of God. But, did you see what else it says? Look at it, “It is full of mercy and the fruit of good deeds.” It’s not that wisdom brings about good deeds, it is the product of good deeds. Wisdom is produced by us asking God for it and doing good deeds.

So, if we want to live by the Spirit’s power, we first must live like the wise, not the foolish. But this passage goes on to say, “16 Make the most of every opportunity in these evil days. 17 Don’t act thoughtlessly, but understand what the Lord wants you to do. 18 Don’t be drunk with wine, because that will ruin your life. Instead, be filled with the Holy Spirit,19 singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs among yourselves, and making music to the Lord in your hearts. 20 And give thanks for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.” If you hadn’t noticed, we are living in very evil days, but Paul tells us to look for opportunities and make the most of them.

And, how can we make the most of these opportunities? We need to stop being thoughtless and start understanding God’s plan. As we’ve seen many times before, God’s plan is for us to glorify Him…that’s all! And, here’s how we can glorify God:

Step 1: Don’t be a drunk! Why? It will ruin your life! I can’t begin to tell you how many lives I’ve seen ruined by alcoholism, even in my own family.

Step 2: Be filled with the Holy Spirit. We must empty ourselves of self and allow the Holy Spirit to fill us and rule in us.

Step 3: SING! Sing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs. A study was recently released on the benefits of singing 10 minutes each day. It strengthens your immune system, it is a workout in itself and even strengthens your lungs, it improves your posture, it aids in regular sleep, it is a natural anti-depressant, it lowers stress levels, it improves mental alertness, it can widen your circle of friends, boost your confidence, broaden your communication skills, and increase your ability to appreciate other music. Sing out loud, but also make music in your heart to the Lord.

Step 4: And, most important. In the name of Jesus Christ, give thanks to God for EVERYTHING! Not just the good things…everything.

We all need to ask ourselves daily, am I living by the Spirit’s power? This word, power, is a word we talked about quite a while ago. The Greek word is dunamis, which is the word we derived our word dynamite from. It is an explosive power and an inherent power. It is a power that is inherent within us and only comes from God. In contrast, the word the Bible always uses when it talks about Satan’s power is exousia which means the ability or strength with which one is endued. It is a power that God has allowed Satan to have for a season.

So, pray every day that God will fill you with the Holy Spirit. In fact, pray to be filled to overflowing, so the Spirit will spill out on everyone you come in contact with. Don’t be drunk but allow the Spirit of God to rule in your life. Then sing…sing with joy in your heart to the Lord. If you are singing all day every day, whether out loud or to yourself, you will be filled with joy, you will be doing good deeds which will bring about God’s wisdom in your life, and you will be living in the power of the Spirit of God.

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