Submit To One Another

Ephesians 5:21-33

This is the problem with doing an expositional study, you can’t pick your topics…that means you even have to do the ones you don’t want to. Because of that, I’m going to cover a lot more ground in one blog than I usually do. Normally I only take 3 or 4 verses at a time, but if I did that today, this blog would have been called, “Wives Need to Submit to Their Husbands”. Somehow, I don’t think that would have gone over so well in today’s society, and if we look at it in context that’s, not what it is saying here. So, let’s do that, let’s take it in context but please read the entire blog before you make any judgment.

In order to look at it in context, we need to go back to the beginning…literally, the beginning! Look at Genesis 2:18 where God said, “Then the Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.’” The KJV uses the word “help meet” here. The Hebrew word used in this verse is the word, `ezer {ay’-zer} which means help, succor, and succor means, “A person or thing that gives help, relief, aid, etc.” So, although we have all heard it from some pastors, the truth is that the wife was not created to be the husband’s servant. She was created to be his helper, to aid him in leading. Now, I feel like I need to stress that men were created to be the leaders, but not at the expense of the woman, even if you are just looking at it physiologically. My degree is in biology, specifically human anatomy, and physiology, and the male body and emotions were created to handle the physical and emotional strains of leading. But we’ll go into that more a little later.

Now, let’s get back to our passage. Paul starts out by saying, “And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” In Ephesians 5:21. You see, a lot of “those pastors” like to leave this verse out and skip right to verse 22 that says, “For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord.” But, the fact is that he begins by saying we all need to submit to each other, husbands to wives and wives to husbands. He goes on in verses 23 through 24 to remind us that God did place the husband as the head of the home just as Christ is the head of the Church. I have heard many Christians try to say that this doesn’t apply to us anymore, but the truth is, there is no scripture to back that up. Some try to say that it’s because we are no longer under the curse but there are a few holes in that thinking. First, although the man being the head of the home was part of the curse of Adam, it was also set up that way from creation. Second, the Bible never says we are no longer under the curse of Adam, it says we are no longer under the curse of the law…two totally different curses. Look at Galatians 3:13, “But Christ has rescued us from the curse pronounced by the law. When he was hung on the cross, he took upon himself the curse for our wrongdoing. For it is written in the Scriptures, ‘Cursed is everyone who is hung on a tree.’” And, thirdly, if this didn’t pertain to us today, then why would Paul have written it to the New Testament Church? I know I sound like a broken record, but we need to stop trying to interpret the Bible, so it matches what we want to hear. We need to take it literally, in context, and as a whole.

These two verses also go back to the fact that the husband and wife are one body, as God said back in Genesis 2:24, “For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.” Because, in verses 23 and 24, when he tells us that the husband is head of the wife just like Christ is the head of the Church he is saying that, just like Christ is the head and the Church is the body, so, the husband is the head and the wife is the body…we are one flesh.

The next section, verses 25 through 30 are all addressing the man, that’s right, 3 verses for the women and 6 verses for the men, we need twice as much direction. Paul reminds us men to love our wives the way Christ loves the Church, “just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her ²⁶ to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word.” Notice it doesn’t say just that Christ died for the Church, it says that He gave Himself for her. You see, Christ didn’t just die for us, He gave everything for us. He left the splendor of Heaven and came to live as a pauper here on this broken earth for us. Yes, we should be willing to die for our wives, but we should be willing to do much more than that. With Christ as our example, we must live for and love our wives as He did the Church. And, why should we do this? To make our wives holy, that means set apart, and clean, and washed by God’s word…to lift up our wives, not to put them down.

As if that wasn’t enough, and knowing how self-centered we men can be, he hits us again. In verse 28 he says, “In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself.” That’s right love your wife as much as you love yourself…ouch! And then he ends the section to the men by reminding us that we are all part of the Body of Christ.

Now, I would like to go back to verse 21 which says we need to submit to each other. Because, next it says in verse 22, “For wives, this means…” and in verse 25 he says, “For husbands, this means…” So, do you see what it is saying? Submit to each other! For women, it means you need to let your husband lead by God’s authority. And, for men, this means you need to love your wives.

So, why do you think Paul focused on these two things? As I mentioned earlier, part of the curse of Adam was “Then he said to the woman, ‘I will sharpen the pain of your pregnancy, and in pain, you will give birth. And you will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you.’” Genesis 3:16. By nature, women want to take control, but that isn’t how God intended it. Again, that doesn’t mean that men control everything, and women have no say in it. Women were given to us as our help meet. They are there to aid us in leading, but we men have to answer to God for how we lead our families. And, as for men, we don’t love naturally…not like women do. Most women love naturally, it’s like a second nature. You know, that motherly, nurturing instinct, but we men are pretty self-centered. We think that providing for the family is enough, but it isn’t. We need to step back and take a hard look at how we love our wives.

So, to sum it up, submit to each other, follow God’s plan, and love! It doesn’t get much easier than that, right?